Talk:Documents regarding post-9/11 prisoner transport flights released

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Review of revision 1281166 [Failed][edit]

Revision 1281166 of this article has been reviewed by Ragettho (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 05:55, 1 September 2011 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer:

  • The first paragraph does not include all of the essential details (inverted pyramid). It's not immediately clear that the flights were operated by private US companies, and that the prisoners were terrorism suspects that were being extrajudicially transported out of the country for alleged torture. Indeed, I note that clarification comes in the third paragraph, but the essential details must come in the lead. A rewording of the title might also help.
  • The second paragraph could be revised, especially its first sentence. ("The documents...rendition flights" is long and possibly run-on.)
  • The fourth paragraph's lone sentence should be split. The use of multiple semicolons to separate a series of long ideas may be too demanding on the reader.

Questions about the above? Ask.

If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.

Revision 1281166 of this article has been reviewed by Ragettho (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 05:55, 1 September 2011 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer:

  • The first paragraph does not include all of the essential details (inverted pyramid). It's not immediately clear that the flights were operated by private US companies, and that the prisoners were terrorism suspects that were being extrajudicially transported out of the country for alleged torture. Indeed, I note that clarification comes in the third paragraph, but the essential details must come in the lead. A rewording of the title might also help.
  • The second paragraph could be revised, especially its first sentence. ("The documents...rendition flights" is long and possibly run-on.)
  • The fourth paragraph's lone sentence should be split. The use of multiple semicolons to separate a series of long ideas may be too demanding on the reader.

Questions about the above? Ask.

If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.

Review of revision 1281604 [Passed][edit]

Revision 1281604 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 05:52, 2 September 2011 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer: None added.

The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Revision 1281604 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 05:52, 2 September 2011 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer: None added.

The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.
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