Talk:Former Interpol chief Meng Hongwei resigns after missing in China

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Headline[edit]

It looks like we don't know who accused the person of bribery. Perhaps the headline needs to focus on his resignation instead... --Gryllida (chat) 22:11, 10 October 2018 (UTC)

Second paragraph[edit]

The timing of the knife image sending is unclear.

Also this knife image information needs to be attributed to his wife, add 'as she told reporters' or 'as she posted on XYZ social media' (specify which). --Gryllida (chat) 22:11, 10 October 2018 (UTC)

Clarity and connection[edit]

After "the latter immediately alerted authorities to know his whereabouts" I would perhaps re-iterate the fact that he is missing for 2 weeks. I would perhaps also include a description of the search efforts that have been made so far. Otherwise it seems to be a bit too disconnected from the next sentence that follows, "His family is now under police protection in France after receiving threats and fearing for her own safety."

I believe there is a need to put one thought per paragraph so the thought about the family would need to go to a separate paragraph anyway.

One question that immediately comes is 'did he leave the airplane to China, if so, in what airport' and 'did the airport people let him into the country' but perhaps the sources aren't terrific about it themselves. --Gryllida (chat) 05:06, 11 October 2018 (UTC)

Response to editor: Gryllida[edit]

Well, the paragraph about the family is on a separate paragraph (but yeah I will elaborate a bit more and also on the search effort). Uh, I don't think I have to write about the airport part so much?

Thanks :) Seems like the last place where the person was seen could be important. But you don't have to include it, if it is too difficult to find. --Gryllida (chat) 05:59, 11 October 2018 (UTC)

One of the last paragraphs[edit]

Article body needs to be in past tense.

"This latest case of corruption comes right after Fan Bingbing, who disappeared for 3 months. Only to reappear on National Day in China with a heavy hitting fine of 883m yuan or $129mrelating to tax evasion by reporting different documents on her earnings for her films." - maybe correct this.

Also 'right after' is probably an exaggeration here, instead maybe it is better to specify the month(s) when these things happened.

--Gryllida (chat) 06:02, 11 October 2018 (UTC)

Copyright issue[edit]

"Mr Meng has 40 years of experience in criminal justice and policing in China, notably in the fields of drugs, counter-terrorism and border control." is copied from source verbatim. Please remove it. We are not legally allowed to copy content from external sources. --Gryllida (chat) 06:04, 11 October 2018 (UTC)


2nd response[edit]

Yeah, I will re-worded it. Yeah, Fan Bingbing reappeared in early October. Literally right before this new case. National day in China is: Oct 1. (my bad, she reappeared on the 3rd of Oct).

Review of revision 4438101 [Not ready][edit]

New developments[edit]

[1]

[2]

Wife got phone call from someone, in Chinese it said "You listen, but you don't speak. We've come in two work teams, two work teams just for you." and continued to speak, reportedly that he previously worked for Meng and he knew where she was.

But I can't really figure out on what day the call occurred.

--Gryllida (chat) 22:56, 11 October 2018 (UTC)

Response: Yeah, from the APnews and the links you gave me, I couldn't find which day the threatening phone call happened either?...but I am guessing a week after...Sept 25? (I mentioned this in the article, but again wasn't specific on the date).—The preceding unsigned comment was added by YXN (talkcontribs) 05:16, 12 October 2018 (UTC)
We also need to rearrange things so that the new event is in the first paragraph of the article (WN:Inverted pyramid). Include at least two sources about the new event. Find a source or two which specifies the date. --Gryllida (chat) 05:27, 12 October 2018 (UTC)
The new event relating to the response from the Chinese govt officials? I added one from the SCMP...also it seems the phone call was one week after last contact from her husband (that's about as specific as it got?? so I think that would be the 4th october?)...https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/wife-missing-interpol-president-says-she-was-threatened-n918391
This source says "Grace Meng told the Associated Press she received a threatening phone call one week after she last had contact with her husband" meaning September 25 plus one week, which is approximately October 2nd. We need something newer than that: specifically we need a fresh development, such as within last 1-2 days. Here is another candidate for refocus: On what date did the Chinese govt officials respond? --Gryllida (chat) 05:53, 12 October 2018 (UTC)

Ah, ok...I will change the date...the response from the SCMP was said to be a daily briefing, so I am going to guess thursday/yesterday...again, it does not specifically say which date. The picture of the knife was on sept 25 (my bad for earlier wrong edits), whilst but she definitely alerted authorities on the 4th. https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/10/meng-hongwei-ex-interpol-chief-sends-knife-emoji-to-wife-before-he-was-detained-by-china.html - 9月 25日 周二, September 25th, Tuesday

I am really confused the AP source says "Chinese authorities said Monday that Meng Hongwei is being lawfully investigated for taking bribes and other crimes that were a result of his “willfulness.”" and state.com source you linked says "China’s ruling Communist Party issued a short statement Monday saying it is investigating Meng Hongwei, elected to lead the international police agency for a four-year term in 2016, for bribery and other crimes.". So to me it seems that October 8 was the date of the announcement and this is not fresh enough for being the key focus of a news report. Perhaps it is needed to continue looking for further updates.
Precisely what happened on Thursday? Which Thursday?
Again the newest event needs to be no more than 1-2 days ago and 1. supported by two sources and 2. be detailed in the first paragraph and 3. be the subject of the headline. --Gryllida (chat) 10:15, 13 October 2018 (UTC)