Talk:Nation mourns, world condemns Taliban attack on Pakistan army school

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Review of revision 3103670 [Not ready][edit]

Revision 3103670 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 01:15, 17 December 2014 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer:

  • A number of passages are too close to source. Most, that I've noticed are not very long, though they do violate the rule of thumb that there oughtn't be four consecutive words identical to source (with obvious exceptions, like titles), and the warning (see WN:PILLARS#own) against copying distinctive turns of phrase. Larger problems occur where a passage has been "scuffed up" in an effort to evade accusations of plagiary — which doesn't work to avoid such accusations. The largest case of scuffing-up I've noticed is the third paragraph, which is in its entirety a scuffed-up copy of a bulleted item from the first-listed source (Euronews, Pakistani Taliban 'kill over 100' in Peshawar school attack). I suspect some digging would turn up other fairly lengthy scuffed-up passages, as there are perhaps a half dozen other four/five/more-word verbatim passages — three of them in the lede.
  • Very short paragraphs are not necessary unacceptable; even one-sentence paragraphs may be okay — but a long series of nothing but very short paragraphs becomes bullet-like, disrupting the flow of the article.

Questions about the above? Ask.

If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.

Revision 3103670 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 01:15, 17 December 2014 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer:

  • A number of passages are too close to source. Most, that I've noticed are not very long, though they do violate the rule of thumb that there oughtn't be four consecutive words identical to source (with obvious exceptions, like titles), and the warning (see WN:PILLARS#own) against copying distinctive turns of phrase. Larger problems occur where a passage has been "scuffed up" in an effort to evade accusations of plagiary — which doesn't work to avoid such accusations. The largest case of scuffing-up I've noticed is the third paragraph, which is in its entirety a scuffed-up copy of a bulleted item from the first-listed source (Euronews, Pakistani Taliban 'kill over 100' in Peshawar school attack). I suspect some digging would turn up other fairly lengthy scuffed-up passages, as there are perhaps a half dozen other four/five/more-word verbatim passages — three of them in the lede.
  • Very short paragraphs are not necessary unacceptable; even one-sentence paragraphs may be okay — but a long series of nothing but very short paragraphs becomes bullet-like, disrupting the flow of the article.

Questions about the above? Ask.

If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.

Review of revision 3105917 [Passed][edit]

Revision 3105917 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 06:12, 18 December 2014 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer:

  • In the end, verified at least some tidbit or other from each of the eleven sources.

The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Revision 3105917 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 06:12, 18 December 2014 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer:

  • In the end, verified at least some tidbit or other from each of the eleven sources.
The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.
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