Talk:Sitting Tongan Prime Minister Akilisi Pohiva dies aged 78
Review of revision 4511621 [Passed][edit]
 |
Revision 4511621 of this article has been reviewed by Mikemoral (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 05:43, 12 September 2019 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: No major issues, just a few minor tweaks. It's good to see news from the Pacific islands The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Revision 4511621 of this article has been reviewed by Mikemoral (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 05:43, 12 September 2019 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: No major issues, just a few minor tweaks. It's good to see news from the Pacific islands The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Tricky wording[edit]
From the third paragraph: When he was elected prime minister by the parliament in 2014, he was the first commoner to have done so — This bothers me a bit because being elected is not something one does, it's something others do to you. --SVTCobra 13:49, 12 September 2019 (UTC)
- @SVTCobra: Er. What he did was be elected? Seems grammatically valid imho. (I'm slightly bemused to reflect that since this is Polynesia, the local language may well do some funky things with grammatical voices.) --Pi zero (talk) 13:59, 12 September 2019 (UTC)
- But it was parliament that did something. I think it is evident in your be elected, so it should be been so, which feels hanging. So maybe "... first commoner to have been so elected". Polynesian dialects seem to be irrelevant unless you are suggesting Danny is from Tonga. It is not a feature of either source, which both say "first commoner [in Tonga] to be elected". I think this sentence became awkward in an effort to keep distance from sources. --SVTCobra 14:13, 12 September 2019 (UTC)
- @Pi zero: I am fine with the new wording. Note on history: It is funny, though, how both sources stress "first commoner [in Tonga] to be elected". He was the first prime minister of any kind to be elected, but actually not the first commoner to become prime minister. Feleti Sevele was appointed, but was a commoner (Lordship bestowed as a function of being PM). --SVTCobra 14:52, 12 September 2019 (UTC)
- @SVTCobra: Wasn't he the second elected PM, after Sialeʻataongo Tuʻivakanō? --Pi zero (talk) 15:01, 12 September 2019 (UTC)
- Ah, yes. You are correct. Alright, then nevermind. --SVTCobra 15:10, 12 September 2019 (UTC)
- @SVTCobra: Wasn't he the second elected PM, after Sialeʻataongo Tuʻivakanō? --Pi zero (talk) 15:01, 12 September 2019 (UTC)
- @Pi zero: I am fine with the new wording. Note on history: It is funny, though, how both sources stress "first commoner [in Tonga] to be elected". He was the first prime minister of any kind to be elected, but actually not the first commoner to become prime minister. Feleti Sevele was appointed, but was a commoner (Lordship bestowed as a function of being PM). --SVTCobra 14:52, 12 September 2019 (UTC)
- But it was parliament that did something. I think it is evident in your be elected, so it should be been so, which feels hanging. So maybe "... first commoner to have been so elected". Polynesian dialects seem to be irrelevant unless you are suggesting Danny is from Tonga. It is not a feature of either source, which both say "first commoner [in Tonga] to be elected". I think this sentence became awkward in an effort to keep distance from sources. --SVTCobra 14:13, 12 September 2019 (UTC)