Talk:Thirteen-year-old boy in Los Angeles, California thanks city personnel for rescue from sewage pipe

From Wikinews, the free news source you can write!
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Headlline[edit]

I suggest dropping "is" and "a", as a matter of headlinese; and specifying California. Thus, "Thirteen-year-old boy in Log Angeles, California rescued from sewage pipe". --Pi zero (talk) 11:24, 3 April 2018 (UTC)

Great idea. :-) I am glad the typo wasn't carried over.
It would be nice to avoid passive voice, if not in the headline then at least in the first paragraph. I.e. "On Monday, a 13-year-old boy Jesse Hernandez was rescued from a city sewage pipe" -> "On Monday, city officials rescued a 13-year-old boy Jesse Hernandez from a city sewage pipe".
Such modification could result in a "City officials rescue thirteen-year-old boy in Log Angeles, California from sewage pipe" but that could be too long. --Gryllida (talk) 21:43, 3 April 2018 (UTC)

Review of revision 4398515 [Not ready][edit]

I made changes to the article by replacing quotes. --George Ho (talk) 15:21, 8 April 2018 (UTC)

Review of revision 4398633 [Passed][edit]