Talk:Three die in Cornwall, UK caravan park of suspected carbon monoxide poisoning
Add topicReview of revision 1819708 [Not ready]
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Revision 1819708 of this article has been reviewed by LauraHale (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 10:58, 24 February 2013 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer:
Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews. |
Revision 1819708 of this article has been reviewed by LauraHale (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 10:58, 24 February 2013 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer:
Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews. |
Review reply
[edit]I'm afraid I must object to your review for the following reasons:
- The first sentence of the lede is written in active voice.
- I'm not sure if that third paragraph is "disjointed" as such; the article clearly attributed all of David Biggs' comments to him. In shortening the quotes, I have already tried to make the paragraph more concise.
- As to whether or not times require the use of colons is subjective.
- I don't think punctuation around quotes needs to be 'consistent' as such.
- I don't believe that last sentence was confusing; I'm more confused by your instruction to "List the symptoms first". I placed a wikilink over the Gas Safe Register so as to allow readers from outside the UK to to click the link if they do not understand what it is, so they understand the relevance of the Gas Safe Register to the story.
in any case, one would have thought the article could have otherwise passed review if these minor issues had been addressed by the reviewer. --Rayboy8 (my talk) (my contributions) 13:49, 24 February 2013 (UTC)
- Just as an incidental curiosity — The practice I follow, picked up from some more senior Wikinewsie I think, is that UTC times don't use a colon. --Pi zero (talk) 20:07, 24 February 2013 (UTC)
Review of revision 1821120 [Passed]
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Revision 1821120 of this article has been reviewed by Tom Morris (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 09:24, 25 February 2013 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: I have fixed the time issue, but I don't believe the other issues raised in the previous review give me reason to fail it again. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Revision 1821120 of this article has been reviewed by Tom Morris (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 09:24, 25 February 2013 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: I have fixed the time issue, but I don't believe the other issues raised in the previous review give me reason to fail it again. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Editprotected
[edit]{{editprotected}} Could you please add Category:Ryan Peteranna (Wikinewsie), it seems I neglected to do so myself. --Rayboy8 (my talk) (my contributions) 16:56, 24 March 2013 (UTC)
- Done. --LauraHale (talk) 03:03, 25 March 2013 (UTC)