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Incomplete documentation, mildly modified phenny bot. These don't include the risqué commands Dendodge made me add.

.t EST Returns the time
.beats Returns the current Swatch Internet time
.yi A rather enigmatic function that came with the framework
.tock The current time from the USNO atomic clock
.npl The current time from NPL's SNTP server
.calc 6*9 The Frink online calculator
.c log(25^2) Google calculator
.py print "Hi" Parses some python
.wa 6*9 base 13 Wolfram Alpha
.u en dash Look up Unicode info
.bytes hello Shows the input as "pretty printed bytes"
.dict soup Finds a definition
.ety prune Finds the etymology of a word
.title Finds the title of a web page
.head Finds the header of a web page
.o argument Does magical things, sometimes
.g rule 34 Jimbo wales I'm Feeling Lucky
.gc "Ezri Dax" Returns the number of Google hits
.gcs PC Mac Compares the hit-count of search terms
.bing Microsoft Entertains the Devil
.seen dendodge A somewhat familiar command
wn-bot: "Bonjour"? Translates a phrase as far as it can
.mangle Hello, world. Translates a phrase into Foreign and back again
.w pleonasm wikt:'s the input
.wik quantitative easing w:'s the input
.val Validates a website
.load Russian Roulette
.dance Makes the bot, er, dance
.cs callsign Someone might be into ham radio?
.stats Show general statistics about various commands.
.34 andrew marr Calls Rule 34.