User talk:Deckdeck21/SMH links compiled to circumvent pending pay wall
Sourcing[edit]
To be clear (since you're a first-time contributor here; yes I realize the article has not be submitted for review):
The information already in the article is not yet sourced, and needs to be. We strongly recommend providing the sources before starting to write the article. --03:07, 8 May 2013 (UTC)
Review of revision 1895103 [Not ready][edit]
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Revision 1895103 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 06:29, 8 May 2013 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: None added. Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews. |
Revision 1895103 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 06:29, 8 May 2013 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: None added. Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews. |
Review of revision 1895215 [Not ready][edit]
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Revision 1895215 of this article has been reviewed by Gryllida (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 10:05, 8 May 2013 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: While I wrote the story in past tense and shaped a lede, the rest of structure and style work are still to be done. Please take a look at the comments below and fix the issues, then resubmit. You can also reply to each individual line by clicking "Edit" at the right of that section name, typing your message and four tildes (~~~~, the signature), and saving the edit. Thanks! Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews. |
Revision 1895215 of this article has been reviewed by Gryllida (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 10:05, 8 May 2013 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: While I wrote the story in past tense and shaped a lede, the rest of structure and style work are still to be done. Please take a look at the comments below and fix the issues, then resubmit. You can also reply to each individual line by clicking "Edit" at the right of that section name, typing your message and four tildes (~~~~, the signature), and saving the edit. Thanks! Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews. |
"Bennett's work was carried out with the intent of keeping information about the public, public. He aims to oppose the closed communities becoming more prevalent on the internet." line looks biased. Is this something someone said, if so, can it be attributed as such? If not, could we probably rephrase the line to be more informative and less promotional per WN:NPOV? Gryllida 09:55, 8 May 2013 (UTC)
"The domestic pay wall would go up later this year." line also hangs there as if you found it somewhere but forgot to attribute, or found on your own without people involved? I think it may need some work likewise. Gryllida 10:00, 8 May 2013 (UTC)
"Bennett hopes that someone with sufficient technical ability will make use of the links." may need a clarification of the source. Whom did Bennett tell this to, or did he write that at his Twitter/blog? Everything has to be as accurate and detailed as possible. --Gryllida 10:01, 8 May 2013 (UTC)
"The Sydney Morning Herald was approached but didn't reply to comment." is passive voice. Passive voice is discouraged per the style guide. Who tried to approach SMH? --Gryllida 10:02, 8 May 2013 (UTC)
It may also be worth noting that one of the two current sources is the author source. If you have more independent sources, use them. If not, please take a few minutes to attempt to find them: a comprehensive view of the event could be useful. --Gryllida 10:11, 8 May 2013 (UTC)