Talk:Brush fire starts in Hawaii's Makua Valley

Original Reporting

I, Drew Smith, witnessed this event first hand. I was on my way home from four-wheeling at Kaeana Point when I saw smoke billowing up over the mountains. Not wanting to miss an opportunity I pulled out my iPhone and began taking pictures of the fire. Unfortunately I was in the seat opposite the fire, so the driver, and parts of the vehicle are present in most of the pictures. I witnessed Fire Trucks, a truck that had a giant water tank on it, and a helicopter with a water bucket. If anyone has any questions you can e-mail me or ask me on this talk page or my user talk page.

Can you provide the other photos fo verification --RockerballAustralia c 06:14, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

The pic used for the article was taken through the roof of the jeep. Part of the jeep was still in the picture, at the bottom, so I cropped it off. Drew R. Smith (talk) 06:49, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

Flames are visible in number 3 at full size, and fire trucks are visible in 6 at full size. I had already put the phone away when we passed the helicopter on the ground with its bucket behind it about half a mile from the fire, pilot outside of the helicopter. We also passed a truck fill up a giant steel tank at a fire hydrant about a mile from the fire (that was the closest one to the fire). Drew R. Smith (talk) 06:52, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

Issues

• The part about the army at the end of the article dosn't read like it's part of a news story.
• The {{date}} template needs to be used. This puts the article into a date category.
• It probably needs a general copyedit, which usually gets done while reviewing--RockerballAustralia c 09:26, 25 July 2010 (UTC)

Hopefully I fixed this to a reviewer's satisfaction. --InfantGorilla (talk) 10:51, 25 July 2010 (UTC)