Talk:188 Fatah supporters permitted to enter Israel
Add topicReview
[edit]Changed from {{Review}} to {{Publish}} by Cirt (talk) after review for factual accuracy, value/newsworthiness, copyediting/readability. Only some very minor copyedits were needed, nice work! Cirt (talk) 23:22, 2 August 2008 (UTC)
Title and content
[edit]I'm a bit shocked at the lack of journalistic senses by CNN in regards to the story title (AFP got it reasonably well). The biggest part of the story is that Israel, the target for years of Palestinian attacks, rescues armed Palestinians from other armed Palestinians. Current title completely shadows the story's details and background.
Suggested new titles:
- Israeli forces enable escape for 188 Fatah Palestinians from Gaza into Israel during Hamas violent crackdown.
- Israeli forces enable escape for 188 Fatah Palestinians from Gaza into Israel under Hamas fire.
Ref for 188: http://www.ynet.co.il/articles/0,7340,L-3576757,00.html Title: Israeli Defense Force rescues Fatah men from Gaza under fire Author: Hanan Greengberg and Ali Wakad
Anyways, the focus should be that Israel made the action to help Palestinains, the action did not occur on it's own - they were permitted entrance and even assisted by Israel.
I hope some change to the title will be agreed upon since that is the core of the story. The second main issue seems well written (the attack from last week) though a wikinews-link to the previous article is clearly missing.
Cheerio, 77.127.253.51 00:25, 3 August 2008 (UTC)
- I am open to discussion on specifics regarding the title name, but you might want to add that the well written article was started by you. The Mind's Eye (talk) 00:44, 3 August 2008 (UTC)
- Not really interested in any glory here. Just some proper journalism. Amywasy, yes, I did have a majory stake in the previous article.
- A bit of a shame that you kinda forgot to deal with the important part of my comment regarding giving Israel some credit in the title.
- Btw, this story is still developing and I'm sure there will be room for further articles in this subject. Cheerio, 77.127.253.51 01:58, 4 August 2008 (UTC)
- Oh I didn't think you were glory seeking, I was just saying. Yes, I agree certainly Israel should receive some credit, as I am a Israel supporter, but the Neutral point of view policy could potentially conflict with a name like you suggested. The Mind's Eye (talk) 19:54, 4 August 2008 (UTC)
- Naw, I think you're wrong. I mean, who allowed them to enter if not Israel? AFP supports my title for the most part so there probably isn't any valid neutrality issues there... esp. with my second suggestion. (AFP title: "Israel lets fleeing Fatah men in after deadly Gaza clashes"). 77.127.253.51 02:43, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
- I agree but the article title does state that they were permitted to enter. I'm sorry but unless a outside editor says other wise, I think this is the best answer. The Mind's Eye (talk) 20:06, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
- Naw, I think you're wrong. I mean, who allowed them to enter if not Israel? AFP supports my title for the most part so there probably isn't any valid neutrality issues there... esp. with my second suggestion. (AFP title: "Israel lets fleeing Fatah men in after deadly Gaza clashes"). 77.127.253.51 02:43, 5 August 2008 (UTC)