Talk:Clear message after bomb threats three Tucson, Arizona area schools

Tasks

I did minimal verification of the sources. Below is a list of the issues that need to be addressed before resubmitting the article for review, particularly the copyright problem.

• The last sentence is nearly a cut/paste from the MSN article and must be removed as written. Wikinews:Copyright
• The headline needs to be a complete sentence. It's missing a verb after Clear message. Wikinews:Style_guide#Headlines
• Time should be written with the local timezone and the UTC conversion in parenthesis. Wikinews:Style_guide#Time
• The first sentence seems pretty mangled and is unclear. It's also missing a verb.
• "A idea with the Pima County Sheriff’s Department said..." I'm not sure what this sentence means
• That same sentence has two prepositions back-to-back: "...there is a person of concern by on the phone number..."
• "...but the story is going on." Consider rephrasing to something like There is an ongoing investigation.
• The last sentence of the first paragraph is missing a word and is currently a run-on. The warnings were not what?
• "...the schools resumed normal things." Activities would be a good replacement for things.
• "Someone told News 4 Tucson..." That's pretty vague and the way it's written sounds like gossip rather than reporting.
• In the same sentence, "second studies" is incorrect. Raytheon is a business. In that context, second shift means people starting work at roughly 5p.

Michael.C.Wright (^Talk/_Published) 14:29, 17 April 2024 (UTC); edited 14:30, 17 April 2024 (UTC)

Review of revision 4777107 [Not ready]

Revision 4777107 of this article has been reviewed by Bddpaux (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 16:53, 22 April 2024 (UTC). Copyright: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Newsworthiness: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Verifiability: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. NPOV: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Style: Not ready: Major grammatical stumblings..... Comments by reviewer: This is too much for me to fix as a Reviewer. Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.

Revision 4777107 of this article has been reviewed by Bddpaux (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 16:53, 22 April 2024 (UTC). Copyright: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Newsworthiness: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Verifiability: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. NPOV: Not reviewed. Please address other issues. Style: Not ready: Major grammatical stumblings..... Comments by reviewer: This is too much for me to fix as a Reviewer. Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.