The neutral perspective on this incident is missing from the article, especially from the lede. It seems Hamas controlled television said this was a cell of Hamas commandos, while IDF said it was a group of 'terrorists'. The neutral perspective is, the Israelis killed five people, which we would then elaborate by explaining what different parties said about who the five were. The lede needs to start with the neutral perspective; details of who said what, might be either in the lede or in a second paragraph, or some in the lede and some in a second paragraph. This involves, at least, writing a new first sentence, so it seems beyond my purview as reviewer.
If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.
The neutral perspective on this incident is missing from the article, especially from the lede. It seems Hamas controlled television said this was a cell of Hamas commandos, while IDF said it was a group of 'terrorists'. The neutral perspective is, the Israelis killed five people, which we would then elaborate by explaining what different parties said about who the five were. The lede needs to start with the neutral perspective; details of who said what, might be either in the lede or in a second paragraph, or some in the lede and some in a second paragraph. This involves, at least, writing a new first sentence, so it seems beyond my purview as reviewer.
If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.
Building on efforts by the reporter to address the earlier review (thanks), I adjusted attribution here and there. The key neutrality point was that the identification of the militants as Hamas was a claim by Hamas. Israel seems to have just called them terrorists. There's no need for us to decide whether we believe Hamas's claims; that's a key part of neutrality, that we avoid making such judgement calls by simply reporting that Hamas made the claim rather than reporting on whether or not the claim is true. There's no reason to particularly cast doubt on the claim, but one wants to make crystal clear to the reader that the relationship between the militants and Hamas is that Hamas claimed them.
Also added to the lede the key fact that Israeli forces killed a bunch of them (which is in the headline), and removed a fact or two that I didn't find in the sources.
The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.
Building on efforts by the reporter to address the earlier review (thanks), I adjusted attribution here and there. The key neutrality point was that the identification of the militants as Hamas was a claim by Hamas. Israel seems to have just called them terrorists. There's no need for us to decide whether we believe Hamas's claims; that's a key part of neutrality, that we avoid making such judgement calls by simply reporting that Hamas made the claim rather than reporting on whether or not the claim is true. There's no reason to particularly cast doubt on the claim, but one wants to make crystal clear to the reader that the relationship between the militants and Hamas is that Hamas claimed them.
Also added to the lede the key fact that Israeli forces killed a bunch of them (which is in the headline), and removed a fact or two that I didn't find in the sources.
The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.
