Talk:Mexico authorities find over four dozen corpses
Add topicReview of revision 1498631 [Not ready]
[edit]  |
Revision 1498631 of this article has been reviewed by Crtew (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 03:31, 14 May 2012 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: The article is newsworthy for its timeliness, conflict and focus on an issue. On review, some parts, however, were too close to the original. Avoid phrases like "It is understood ..." in the body of the article as it weakens the evidence-based and NPOV presentation of facts that you do so well at presenting! I think this article cries out for a clarification of the spatial dimension. In the first, two paragraphs, four locations are given, which makes it confusing for the average reader. This should be done through textual description but a good map always helps, too. The punctuation in the Domene quote in the original BBC article was incorrect, and complete sentences should either by separated by a semi-colon or a full stop if a conjunction is not used. This wouldn't take too much work to whip into shape. Please avoid starting sentences with a numeral as the style at most news organizations, including the Associated Press, is to write the number out at the beginning. This can typically be avoided by converting the sentence active voice. A few words were used in nonstandard ways, like adjoins and hardened. Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews. |
Revision 1498631 of this article has been reviewed by Crtew (talk · contribs) and found not ready at 03:31, 14 May 2012 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: The article is newsworthy for its timeliness, conflict and focus on an issue. On review, some parts, however, were too close to the original. Avoid phrases like "It is understood ..." in the body of the article as it weakens the evidence-based and NPOV presentation of facts that you do so well at presenting! I think this article cries out for a clarification of the spatial dimension. In the first, two paragraphs, four locations are given, which makes it confusing for the average reader. This should be done through textual description but a good map always helps, too. The punctuation in the Domene quote in the original BBC article was incorrect, and complete sentences should either by separated by a semi-colon or a full stop if a conjunction is not used. This wouldn't take too much work to whip into shape. Please avoid starting sentences with a numeral as the style at most news organizations, including the Associated Press, is to write the number out at the beginning. This can typically be avoided by converting the sentence active voice. A few words were used in nonstandard ways, like adjoins and hardened. Questions about the above? Ask. If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews. |
Review of revision 1499039 [Passed]
[edit]  |
Revision 1499039 of this article has been reviewed by Crtew (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 14:11, 14 May 2012 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: Newsworthy article. The improvements corrected previous concerns. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Revision 1499039 of this article has been reviewed by Crtew (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 14:11, 14 May 2012 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: Newsworthy article. The improvements corrected previous concerns. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |