User talk:Matthewedwards/FA

Wikinews investigates the reconstruction of Pichilemu, Chile after February earthquake

• "comprises at least 24 villages, such as Ciruelos, Rodeíllo and Espinillo (both also severely damaged by the March 11 earthquake)" -- "both", but 3 are mentioned fixed
• "The earthquake took place in what it's considered the 'last weekend in the summer;' " -- "it's" is incorrect here fixed replacing it's with is
• "reported El Rancagüino, the most important newspaper in O'Higgins Region," -- doesn't sound neutral, and since O'Higgins Region has been linked already, it doesn't need to be again fixed Delinked O'Higgins Region. Afraid to touch the "most important" thing, but
• For future reference, when you pipelink specifics such as "the station reported that a police truck had crashed" and "the post office, which was demolished in July.", the links would have more meaning if they were formatted "the station reported that a local police truck had crashed" and "the post office, which was demolished in July." This lets the reader know he isn't being navigated to a generic link about police or post offices, but specific ones relevant to the story. fixed
• I assume "to make the city go back to the normality." is a quote translated from Spanish to English. I wonder how this was done? Was it word-for-word translation, or more of a loose translation of an entire sentence? I ask because in normal English usage I think "return the city to normality." is more likely to have been said.

  The source said "hacer que la ciudad vuelva a la normalidad", so I translated it "word-by-word". Same goes for the Mayor quote.

• typo on "begginning" fixed
• Some phrasing sounds a bit odd or questionable: "People were also given food, wood (mostly rests from the destroyed kiosks)," -- What are "rests"? Also, mayor's statement ""We are keeping the government informed, we're also organized with some churches [sic, religious organizations] that are working voluntarily in Espinillo, Los Boldos, Alto Ramírez [...] We thank a lot their work, that is not to give them mediaguas [temporary tenements], but something definitive, but I also think they need resources to do it,"" -- was this in English or Spanish because again, I think something got lost in translation. "we're also organized with some churches" probably is supposed to be "we're working with some churches"? While "we thank a lot their work" —> "we are grateful for their work"?
• Unfortunately, while the article's title tells us it's about the reconstruction, the article itself doesn't begin to tell the reader about the reconstruction efforts until the 6th subsection. I think this article would have had a greater impact if it had been written as two separate articles. One article incorporating the first two-thirds of this one, and being about How the community initally acted and reacted during the earthquakes and tsunami. The second article utilising the final third of this one, and being about the reconstruction.

  In fact, I was just going to write about the new design of the kiosks, as I had just investigated about that. Then I had the idea of creating a kind of in-depth article on the earthquake in the city.

• I also felt a bit underwhelmed when it came to the information about the reconstruction efforts. In the first half of the article, it says:

• "the giant waves ... annihilated its beach and reached the city's square, destroying everything on their way" (emphasis added).
• "The Agustín Ross architecture in the city was damaged. Agustín Ross Balcony was completely destroyed."
• "The earthquake destroyed one of Pichilemu's oldest and iconic buildings, the post office,".
• There's a photo of the Donde Esaú Restaurant, "which was severely damaged by both the tsunami and earthquake.", and according to the owner, the Entre Mar hotel was also destroyed.
• 600 people in Espinillo were made homeless.

• However, the two sections that tell the reader about the reconstruction only tell us about a cenotaph that's been erected, the reconstructed Fishermen Store, and designing some kiosks that apparently cost a bit more than before.

• File:Main_beach-pichilemu-2010eq_edit.jpg shows mud and dirt, and beach and timber everywhere, boats strewn about, cars crashed into each other.
• When was the beach cleaned up and reopened? All this could have added to the reconstruction part.
• What about the seafront bars and restaurants that were destroyed? Are they boarded up? Were they reconstructed? Torn down? How are these business owners now making a living?
• How many days did it take for tow trucks to remove them?
• Does insurance cover any this? Has the Chilean government pledged financial aid, tax breaks or something?
• Has the displaced found new homes or alternative, more permanent, residence?

As I said before, I had just investigated about the kiosks. I wanted to expand it a bit more with online sources, and that's how the rest of the article came: a combination of old articles.

I opposed this one too, but I actually do think that it's not too bad. Other than the odd typo and potential translation mistakes, overall the prose is quite good. The article has great images that are relevant, and aren't file photos. I think some sort of map of the city showing how far inland the waves came, the neighbourhoods that were destroyed and where people sought refuge would have been a great addition, though. And the back-story is, while misplaced, very informative.