A headline should be a sentence (without a period at the end).
There should be two mutually independent, trust-worthy sources. The first-listed of these sources is, in particular, one I don't recognize. Btw, we do not use footnotes here; cite the sources in a Sources section, using the {{source}} template for each.
The first paragraph (the lede) should be a short and to-the-point paragraph about the focal event of the article, briefly summarizing it by succinctly (in, mostly, a very few words each) answering as many as reasonably possible of the five Ws and H about the focal event, and explaining its significance and establishing that it's WN:newsworthy. Here the first sentence is not about the focal event, and has a somewhat advert-ish tone to it (perhaps because the "and many more" phrase is less specific than one generally wants for news).
There's an editorial tone here, non-neutral; we want to report just objective, verifiable facts.
Total length should be at least three paragraphs, and at least about 50% more text than is current in the article.
If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.
A headline should be a sentence (without a period at the end).
There should be two mutually independent, trust-worthy sources. The first-listed of these sources is, in particular, one I don't recognize. Btw, we do not use footnotes here; cite the sources in a Sources section, using the {{source}} template for each.
The first paragraph (the lede) should be a short and to-the-point paragraph about the focal event of the article, briefly summarizing it by succinctly (in, mostly, a very few words each) answering as many as reasonably possible of the five Ws and H about the focal event, and explaining its significance and establishing that it's WN:newsworthy. Here the first sentence is not about the focal event, and has a somewhat advert-ish tone to it (perhaps because the "and many more" phrase is less specific than one generally wants for news).
There's an editorial tone here, non-neutral; we want to report just objective, verifiable facts.
Total length should be at least three paragraphs, and at least about 50% more text than is current in the article.
If possible, please address the above issues then resubmit the article for another review (by replacing {{tasks}} in the article with {{review}}). This talk page will be updated with subsequent reviews.
The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.
The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.
