Talk:Cameron, Salmond sign deal for referendum on Scottish independence

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Comments[edit]

  • The headline needs a lot of work. International readers won't necessarily know who Cameron and Salmond are, let alone be able to deduce what sort of referendum they might have signed a deal on, so the current headline is highly uninformative. Also, btw, Wikinews headlines use sentence-case capitalization (downstyle) rather than title-case capitalization (upstyle). So even if the current headline were okay, the last three words would be lower-case ("sign referendum deal").
  • "setting out their stalls" is an idiom international readers may not recognize (I hadn't encountered it myself, though I can readily see what it must mean); it may be the better part of valor to avoid it.
  • A point I'd be wary of is asserting as fact that Salmond believes something; who knows what any politician believes? The closest we can generally come is what they profess to believe, and it may be safer to attribute it to them rather than state it as fact.

I'm not likely to have a full review in me tonight (it's about 9pm where I am); what the morning may bring, ten or eleven hours from now, remains to be seen. --Pi zero (talk) 01:12, 17 October 2012 (UTC)

Review of revision 1662484 [Not ready][edit]

Hi, I live in Scotland and so I have personal experience of the referendum and the two campaigns. If you check the various parties' websites or search for 'Scottish Green Party independence ' on google, you will find their positions on independence. Alistair Darling's Wikipedia page also states that he is the leader of the better together campaign and various media scourges here have reported him as being the leader of this campaign.

Don't ask the reviewer to launch a research project across the internet to verify your material; that's not the reviewer's part. If the information is available out there, please provide sources for it in the Sources section (which is also a record of where the information came from, a second reason to provide them). I remarked above about Wikipedia versus trust-worthy sources. --Pi zero (talk) 19:24, 17 October 2012 (UTC)

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude! Thank you for your help with reviewing my article. I have added the sources I was referring to to the sources section.

No offense was taken. We learn to be fairly blunt in our explanations; there often isn't time here to explain things more than once, so we have to try, as best we can, to say things so as to be understood the first time. --Pi zero (talk) 00:04, 18 October 2012 (UTC)

Review of revision 1663766 [Passed][edit]