Talk:Kansas City Chiefs athlete commits murder-suicide

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Thoughts[edit]

Two items immediately eye-catching, both of which may be repairable by a reviewer during review.

  • The headline is a noun phrase, rather than a sentence. It should be a sentence in present tense and active voice, and describe the most important and unique thing about the focal news event for an international audience.
  • The first paragraph is too long and detailed for a lede. Sometimes this can be fixed by inserting a paragraph break after the first sentence, which is within the purview of a reviewer.

--Pi zero (talk) 17:18, 2 December 2012 (UTC)

First off thank you, Pi zero for the review of this article. About using the template {{w|Jovan Belcher}}, sorry for using [[w:Jovan Belcher|Jovan Belcher]]. I went with what I did due to Wikinews:Article layout in a nutshell#Wikilinks but for any future contributions I will be sure to remember that change. As for the appearance of copying from Wikipedia, it was not done intentionally, apparent miswording on my behalf. As for the extra source, it was needed at first but as the other sources got updated its usefulness disappeared. --J36miles (talk) 21:57, 3 December 2012 (UTC)

Ah! Thanks for pointing out where you were guided to hardlink to Wikipedia; we're always on the lookout for bits like that in need of updating. --Pi zero (talk) 22:05, 3 December 2012 (UTC)

Review of revision 1724260 [Passed][edit]

Error in caption[edit]

The caption should say Belcher rather than Mckinley. Denverjeffrey (talk) 20:10, 6 December 2012 (UTC)

Done Thanks. --Pi zero (talk) 20:52, 6 December 2012 (UTC)