Talk:Kansas City Chiefs athlete commits murder-suicide

Thoughts

Two items immediately eye-catching, both of which may be repairable by a reviewer during review.

• The headline is a noun phrase, rather than a sentence. It should be a sentence in present tense and active voice, and describe the most important and unique thing about the focal news event for an international audience.
• The first paragraph is too long and detailed for a lede. Sometimes this can be fixed by inserting a paragraph break after the first sentence, which is within the purview of a reviewer.

--Pi zero (talk) 17:18, 2 December 2012 (UTC)

First off thank you, Pi zero for the review of this article. About using the template {{w|Jovan Belcher}}, sorry for using [[w:Jovan Belcher|Jovan Belcher]]. I went with what I did due to Wikinews:Article layout in a nutshell#Wikilinks but for any future contributions I will be sure to remember that change. As for the appearance of copying from Wikipedia, it was not done intentionally, apparent miswording on my behalf. As for the extra source, it was needed at first but as the other sources got updated its usefulness disappeared. --J36miles (talk) 21:57, 3 December 2012 (UTC)

Ah! Thanks for pointing out where you were guided to hardlink to Wikipedia; we're always on the lookout for bits like that in need of updating. --Pi zero (talk) 22:05, 3 December 2012 (UTC)

Review of revision 1724260 [Passed]

Revision 1724260 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 20:32, 3 December 2012 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: In addition to the problems noted above, there also appears to have been some copying from Wikipedia. Don't copy text from Wikipedia. Besides Wikipedia not being an acceptable source (Wikipedia itself is quite clear on this point), Wikipedia has a more restrictive license than Wikinews, so contributors editing Wikipedia do not automatically give consent for their work to be placed on Wikinews. Also, there were some facts not from the source articles, and there were more source articles than were apparently used. Don't use facts not from the sources, and don't make the reviewer's task harder by listing excess sources. Listing excess sources make review substantially harder, and we have an explicit policy prohibiting it. There were other things during review, for which see the history of article edits during review. Note the use of template {{w}}. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Revision 1724260 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 20:32, 3 December 2012 (UTC). Copyright: Passed Newsworthiness: Passed Verifiability: Passed NPOV: Passed Style: Passed Comments by reviewer: In addition to the problems noted above, there also appears to have been some copying from Wikipedia. Don't copy text from Wikipedia. Besides Wikipedia not being an acceptable source (Wikipedia itself is quite clear on this point), Wikipedia has a more restrictive license than Wikinews, so contributors editing Wikipedia do not automatically give consent for their work to be placed on Wikinews. Also, there were some facts not from the source articles, and there were more source articles than were apparently used. Don't use facts not from the sources, and don't make the reviewer's task harder by listing excess sources. Listing excess sources make review substantially harder, and we have an explicit policy prohibiting it. There were other things during review, for which see the history of article edits during review. Note the use of template {{w}}. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Error in caption

The caption should say Belcher rather than Mckinley. Denverjeffrey (talk) 20:10, 6 December 2012 (UTC)

Done Thanks. --Pi zero (talk) 20:52, 6 December 2012 (UTC)