User talk:MountaineerUOW

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-- Wikinews Welcome (talk) 11:11, 8 March 2013 (UTC)

Rainbow crossing

I have reviewed the article at Talk:Rainbow crossing, leaving detailed feedback and references to get more information on conforming to Wikinews requirements. I highly encourage you to interact with reviewers by asking questions as you work to improve the article before resubmitting. Wikinews has a high learning curve and almost no editor gets published on their first attempt. Interacting with reviewers, asking questions, seeking clarification on what you do not understand will optimize your chances of getting the article passed on your second attempt. --LauraHale (talk) 10:29, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

Thank you for commenting back. The article will need a rename. If you cannot rename it yourself, please let me know what you want the new name to be. The first paragraph also does not give a sense of time. It does not answer the question of when these events took place. Wikinews wants news story, things that have happened in the past 24 to 48 hours. The only date in the article is 5 days ago. Why is this news now? This really needs to be answered. (And in answering it, it may suggest a better title.)

Related news goes above sources like this:

== Related news ==
* {{wikinews|Sydney plans loss of rainbow|April 2, 2013}}.

If you look at the source for the article, you should be able to see a sidebar you can use and categories you can copy paste into your own. (Categories are like tags on newspapers. They make content easier to find.) The article still has a feel of a press release in it, and does not feel very neutral. Iconic? Says who? Emerging is defined as "Becoming prominent; newly formed; emergent; rising." It reads as kind of weasley in suggesting POV. Created is more neutral. Another problem phrase is " gaining appreciation and prominence overseas". Who is appreciating it? What is prominence overseas? (Will I be reading about rainbows in chalk in Chicago printed by the Chicago Tribune? Adjectives should be avoided. (Yes, this does make news read as really boring at times, but the goal of Wikinews is not to suggest opinions, but rather to provide independent, neutral, fact based information so that people can independently form opinions.) Overseas should be avoided. Wikinews is international. Assume your reader is in South Africa, Spain or Costa Rica. (The English language article on this story was originally written in Spanish by some one living in Spain and then reviewed by some one living in Costa Rica. They used Australian sources.)

"Don't get angry, get chalking" is a quote in the article, but it is attributed to "supporters", without saying who those supporters are. Are supporters who are trying to sell t-shirts? Are they members of Sydney's LGBT community? Who are these supporters and which ones is the quote attributable to?

Wikilinks are easy and should be used for proper nouns generally. Sydney, Parliament House are two examples. These are a few issues that need to be addressed. --LauraHale (talk) 12:02, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

I've renamed the article to the headline internally indicated. That doesn't mean I'm endorsing it, necessarily, but this is closer to where we'd want to end up. --Pi zero (talk) 12:47, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

Er. Sorry, MountaineerUOW, looks like I renamed it and then you saved an edit to the page not realizing it had been moved. --Pi zero (talk) 12:49, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

I can fix that. Hang on a sec and I will. --Pi zero (talk) 12:50, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

I hope I've fixed it. Sorry for the confusion; I hadn't realized you were actively editing it. --Pi zero (talk) 12:54, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

• I've re-reviewed it. It's clearly gotten a lot better, but there seems to be some lingering bias here, which I've done my best to quantify in my review comments. --Pi zero (talk) 19:35, 15 April 2013 (UTC)

Signature

Hi, signing like you do Just Works™ but the "traditional" approach is to add the four tildes at the end, not at the beginning, of your messages. It's optional to follow but makes reading easier. Cheers, Gryllida 04:30, 17 April 2013 (UTC)

I see, thanks for that. How do you think the article is coming along? What more does it need? Did you get my other message with the two questions in response to your comment re: free media and unofficial sources? Thanks, MountaineerUOW (talk) 04:39, 17 April 2013 (UTC)

I responded on the article talk: it needs a bit of work to clarify dates and remove some adjectives which don't add informative content, i.e. "trending Twitter tag" makes it look like you're selling that Twitter account to someone. :) I left a reply to your questions on the article talk. Gryllida 04:41, 17 April 2013 (UTC)

First successful womb transplant recipient passes six-week pregnancy mark

Hi. I founds problems under the "copyright" review criterion. See my review comments, and detailed history of edit during review. --Pi zero (talk) 19:30, 1 May 2013 (UTC)

Published. Congrats! I had to do a bunch of work on it; please see the review comments and detailed history of edits during review. --Pi zero (talk) 19:33, 2 May 2013 (UTC)