Talk:CBS News correspondent Mike Wallace dies at 93
Add topicApril 2012
[edit]Author, Check the last sentence. Crtew (talk) 17:40, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
Author, Please be more careful about your copyediting before you submit a story. Just double check. Vacy for Navy? etc. Easy corrections to make before you hit submit. Crtew (talk) 18:18, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
There are many other options for categories, such as Music, Politics, Baseball, etc. How much is too much for a story like this? Crtew (talk) 18:07, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
This article in particular sounds "affected" by the Wikinews style issue/choice of not being able to use "American". The people were American legends. Horowitz was a Russian-American pianist.Crtew (talk) 18:13, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
- This headline needs work. The word "famed" is POV, and what's missing is the most important and unique thing — the name of the deceased.
- The advice suggested somewhere-or-other about categories is, if you looked at category X for articles related to X, would you want the article to be one of those your are directed to.
- I haven't read the article, so whether something's needed to make it smooth I wouldn't know, and I'm not commenting on the article. But as for the use of "America(n)"... bluntly, to someone with a sufficiently parochial perspective, anything that doesn't treat the US as the center of the universe will sound affected. You get over it. --Pi zero (talk) 18:25, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
I've asked the author to recheck for copyvio on talk page. Crtew (talk) 18:26, 8 April 2012 (UTC)
Revisions to writing
[edit]- The order of information from the second paragraph could be reversed for a better read. The longer quote reads long and flowery for Wikinews style, but you could use the portion that is relevant to the basic point: Wallace was a key figure in the success of the news show. Ths would also better transition into your next paragraph.
- The last sentence of the fourth paragraph is awkward and has the same idea at the beginning and the end.
- Fix awkward expressions, like "tribute to himself"
- Be consise: Can't you just shorten "broadcasting world" to broadcasting? Look for more of these, like "He married a woman he meet at college, Norma Kaphan".Crtew (talk) 02:14, 9 April 2012 (UTC)
Review of revision 1464638 [Passed]
[edit]  |
Revision 1464638 of this article has been reviewed by Cirt (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 17:33, 10 April 2012 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: None added. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Revision 1464638 of this article has been reviewed by Cirt (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 17:33, 10 April 2012 (UTC).
Comments by reviewer: None added. The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer. |
Categories
[edit]{{edit protected}} Please add this article to Category:CBS News, and localize the link of the same name. Thank you. Green Giant (talk) 09:35, 7 October 2015 (UTC)
Done --Pi zero (talk) 10:56, 8 October 2015 (UTC)
