Talk:Violence breaks out in Washington, DC at pro-Trump protest

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This one is going to be hard to publish. AZOperator (talk) 23:01, 15 November 2020 (UTC)

What's the problem? Please elaborate. I appreciate your edits to the article, though. The Irate Communist (talk) 23:19, 15 November 2020 (UTC)
@The Irate Communist:It starts with the title and lede. If the article was about the pro-Trump demonstrators then the counter-protestors should either be mention in the lede or in the very next sentence or be in the lede and title. I would have preferred the latter. There was also a lot of encyclopedic content regarding the Women for America First and the Proud Boys which I was able to cut with my edits. Superlatives like "vehemently" and "widely pegged" were presumptuous so I cut them down also. The minor "capital" to "capitol" was an easy fix, that slight spelling difference gets me too when writing luckily we have good reviewers. By the end of those major edits it seemed like I was reporting on the clash with counter-protests and not on the initial demonstration. More of the content of who said what at the demonstration would work. The percentages mentioned may apply to the people at the demonstration yet there seemed to be no direct connection, I would have ran with how many people, how many counter protestors. I think those were cellphone videos, so doing some cross checking to find where it originated may have worth a look. It seemed like there was a focal drift and I just didn't think we could get this article in publication form before the freshness requirement expires.
I also wrote an article very similar to this about protestors entering CNN HQ in Atlanta just to find myself in a mess of focus on police, CNN, or protestors. That one was never published because the focus was not delivered throughout the entire article. That is why I said it would be hard to publish. AZOperator (talk) 17:50, 16 November 2020 (UTC)
I'll just fix it today. Don't underestimate me. EDIT: changed the focal point of the article to be the "unrest" and moved the page. The Irate Communist (talk) 20:54, 16 November 2020 (UTC)

Style[edit]

Since this article has expired it maybe helpful to look at the style. The lede statement should be a freestanding sentence that answers who, what, when, and how. The why part of it I have found is integrated into the rest of the article. So, at most, the first paragraph should have ideally 1 sentence with a max of 2. So the current first paragraph looks like this:

Violence broke out Saturday when thousands of supporters of US President Donald Trump descended on Freedom Plaza in capitol city of Washington, DC to protest the results of the 2020 US Presidential Election, where former US Vice-President Joe Biden is projected to have defeated the incumbent in both the popular vote and the electoral college. Despite the demonstrations being initially peaceful throughout the day, clashes with counter-protesters broke out by evening hours. Video captured two factions pushing, punching, and throwing projectiles. When the unrest moved closer to the White House, fireworks and flash bangs were allegedly used.

Should look more on the lines of:

Saturday, a peaceful demonstration was disrupted on Freedom Plaza in the United States' capitol city of Washington, DC by counter-protestors over the 2020 presidential election. The initial demonstration was intended to support US President Donald Trump claims of election tampering and fraud disputing media projections of President-elect Joe Biden's 306-232 electorate victory.

I would then go on to the meaty parts of it like this:

Political groups supporting the claims like Women for America First and The Proud Boys organized the demonstration called "Million MAGA March" with speeches from several prominent leaders like Infowars' Alex Jones. According to (insert name) the election was allegedly stolen by several acts of vote manipulation which would have given Trump the 270 electoral votes to win the election as well as the popular vote. Trump has yet to concede the election and has filed multiple lawsuits in several states.

There is room here for some more some content but must be with a Neutral Point of View. Maybe appending that none of the lawsuits have yielded any drastic changes or give quotes from other notable speakers.

I would conclude with this:

As evening set in, the counter-protestors became aggressive towards the demonstrators. Police intervened resulting in 20 arrests and 2 police officers required medical attention for non-life threatening injuries. Trump issued a tweet attacking the Democratic Mayor Muriel Bowser accusing her of "not doing her job".

Possibly saying what the 20 arrests were for maybe okay with this.

That is how I would have changed it further. PigSkinsAndComputers (talk) 16:31, 17 November 2020 (UTC)

Review of revision 4592716 [Passed][edit]

I should have adjusted the headline before publishing; despite great efforts I find it hard to remember to recheck the headline. It really ought to be more specific. --Pi zero (talk) 22:48, 17 November 2020 (UTC)

Great work regardless, thank you! The Irate Communist (talk) 01:44, 18 November 2020 (UTC)