Talk:New Hampshire crash kills seven, including former US Marines

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Review of revision 4485714 [Passed][edit]

Revision 4485714 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 15:17, 24 June 2019 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer:

  • First articles are generally very difficult, because there are all the basics to get right in order to achieve publication. This was no exception, of course; but it was quite a solid first submission imo. It's quite common for first articles not to pass on first review, and often even after multiple reviewed they don't make the cut, so they must be considered merely learning experiences toward later submissions.

    Here are some of the bigger lessons to take away from this; see also the detailed history of edits during review.

  • The lede should be a short, to-the-point paragraph, briefly summarizing the focal event by succinctly answering as many as reasonably possible of the five Ws and an H about it and, in the process, showing why it is newsworthy. Details are then left for later paragraphs, following an inverted pyramid. As part of our minimal length standards, we expect at least three paragraphs; here, the first paragraph was overloaded with details, and once those were split off into a separate paragraph, the three-paragraph minimum was satisfied.
  • Beware of Wikinews passages too close to source passages (the closest being, of course, verbatim identical, which actually did happen here in some cases). There's a bit of advice on this at WN:PILLARS#own.
  • Be careful to report in the past tense. Ultimately, everything we report on has to have happened previous to when we're reporting it. The temptation to use present tense is often strongest when reporting that something hasn't happened: no arrest has been made, somebody has not made any statement, some information has not been released; but we can't know that's still true by the time we report it, and instead of saying it "hasn't" happened we ought to say that it had not happened as of such-and-such time past, or better yet, say that such-and-such a person said it hadn't happened, and report when they said that.

The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Revision 4485714 of this article has been reviewed by Pi zero (talk · contribs) and has passed its review at 15:17, 24 June 2019 (UTC).[reply]

Comments by reviewer:

  • First articles are generally very difficult, because there are all the basics to get right in order to achieve publication. This was no exception, of course; but it was quite a solid first submission imo. It's quite common for first articles not to pass on first review, and often even after multiple reviewed they don't make the cut, so they must be considered merely learning experiences toward later submissions.

    Here are some of the bigger lessons to take away from this; see also the detailed history of edits during review.

  • The lede should be a short, to-the-point paragraph, briefly summarizing the focal event by succinctly answering as many as reasonably possible of the five Ws and an H about it and, in the process, showing why it is newsworthy. Details are then left for later paragraphs, following an inverted pyramid. As part of our minimal length standards, we expect at least three paragraphs; here, the first paragraph was overloaded with details, and once those were split off into a separate paragraph, the three-paragraph minimum was satisfied.
  • Beware of Wikinews passages too close to source passages (the closest being, of course, verbatim identical, which actually did happen here in some cases). There's a bit of advice on this at WN:PILLARS#own.
  • Be careful to report in the past tense. Ultimately, everything we report on has to have happened previous to when we're reporting it. The temptation to use present tense is often strongest when reporting that something hasn't happened: no arrest has been made, somebody has not made any statement, some information has not been released; but we can't know that's still true by the time we report it, and instead of saying it "hasn't" happened we ought to say that it had not happened as of such-and-such time past, or better yet, say that such-and-such a person said it hadn't happened, and report when they said that.
The reviewed revision should automatically have been edited by removing {{Review}} and adding {{Publish}} at the bottom, and the edit sighted; if this did not happen, it may be done manually by a reviewer.

Prepping update notice[edit]

Premature at the moment, of course...

{{update|Driver in New Hampshire multi-motorcycle crash pleads not guilty|June 26, 2019}} Darkfrog24 (talk) 00:33, 26 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Darkfrog24: thanks for following up on the story. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help, though I won't have as much time in the next few weeks --DannyS712 (talk) 01:53, 26 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Anything you can do to help" is go to the article and modify it however your wit desires. More hands make better articles almost every time. Darkfrog24 (talk) 02:07, 26 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Deployed. --Pi zero (talk) 18:40, 28 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

dashes[edit]

The 'm-dashes' around the word "today" look absolutely crazy. I am not sure what part of WN:SG this was parsed from. --SVTCobra 01:07, 23 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

If I were using the format that comes most naturally to me, those em-dashes would have spaces on the outer sides, away from "today", and not on the inner sides, like this:
flags would be flown at half-mast on Monday —today— in their honor.
But that usage is somewhat my own idiosyncrasy, so I wouldn't usually impose it on someone else's article (though I'd be comfortable using it if I were writing an article, as it's my chosen style). --Pi zero (talk) 01:14, 23 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Edit request - category[edit]

{{editprotected}}

Hi. Please add Category:DannyS712 (Wikinewsie) to this page (I'm going to populate it now that I have 5 articles published, and I want to populate it in order). Thanks, --DannyS712 (talk) 02:26, 24 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Also done —mikemoral (talk · contribs) 02:34, 24 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
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